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Pastor Vic Quisumbing   /   Nov 16, 2014

We realize that most of us if not all of us have had a broken relationship at one time in our life. Whether or not that relationship is restored depends on how we handle the situation. Here are three requirements to foster reconciliation.


When Jacob met Esau the first thing we see is Jacob’s prioritization of his family, the most important being last because that way they’re the farthest away if something goes wrong. But it turns out that all of Jacob’s fears had been for naught. Esau had forgiven Jacob and they are now at peace. This passage shows Jacob as the epitome of humility, because not only does he bow to the ground but he does it seven times as he comes near Esau (Genesis 33:3).

Every time we have a problem in humility we need to see Jesus as our example to follow (Philippians 2:5-8). If we are going to be ministers of reconciliation, we must be willing to do what Jesus did. We must give up what we sometimes think we deserve. We think that we are entitled to certain rights. Also we must be willing to sacrifice our pride for the sake of the relationship we have for one another.


Jacob acknowledges in verse 10 that God has been gracious to him thus he wants Esau to receive his gift that comes from God. Jacob also says that seeing Esau’s face was like seeing the face of God which showed that he knew his deliverance from harm by Esau was of God.

When trying to achieve reconciliation with someone, we must always recognize the hand of God. We must never take the credit for it, because it is only by the leading of the Holy Spirit that we would even desire reconciliation. Through the gentle leading of the Holy Spirit, our hearts are moved with compassion instead of revenge. And because of this, God must always get the praise for reconciliation.


At the end of this family reunion, Esau tries to persuade Jacob to come and live with them. However, Jacob comes up with every excuse in the book why he can’t go with them. Verses 16-17 tell us that Esau went his way south and Jacob went west.  It would seem that Jacob has started to lie again to his brother because Jacob never gets to Seir as he had insinuated to Esau. Jacob went his way to Succoth and there he paid for property and put down some roots. Verse 20 tells us that Jacob made an altar and called it “Elelohe-Israel” which means “God, the God of Israel.”

What is the reality we face today?  We have had experiences where we have been in disagreements and we have taken offense by what people say or maybe we have offended others in ways we were not aware of. But God works a supernatural transformation in all of us. As much as it is possible, remember we are supposed to live at peace with everyone. That means that we have a responsibility to seek reconciliation with the people that we have offended. As believers we do not have the luxury of holding grudges and letting raw wounds remain.

If however reconciliation is something they are unwilling to pursue, all is not lost. We have a God who has the power to break hardened hearts and to institute reconciliation even at the last moment. Not only is God powerful enough to heal broken relationships, but He has done an even greater work by sending His Son Jesus Christ to die in our place so that our sins will be forgiven (2 Corinthians 5:19).  Remember that in our desire to reconcile with others, we must do all that we can and trust God to do what we can’t.

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